Farewell, EL

 Oh, the home of the 2004-2005 Second Team Academic All State Girls Ski-Team. 

Living, biking, playing, stumbling, sleeping, pokey-stix eating, dancing, tandeming, blading and running on the streets of East Lansing, I experienced so much these past four years. 

I ran the streets wearing only buns; dressed as an avatar creature; in an eighties sweat suit; covered in poison ivy; with my friends; alone; carrying a turkey sandwich; after eating a donut; while eating a banana.

I ran in the woods; in the stadium; through skywalks; over tractor tires; under signs; through the children's garden; the hobo trail; the arbs; jenison track; the river trail; THE LAVA TRAIL; backyards; frontyards; backyard sidewalks.

 
Mid-run pit stops included buying sunscreen, Rockying up the capitol steps, drinking a slurpee, getting a free hug, depositing cash, peeing, doing more than just peeing then wiping with poision ivy, drinking water at TA's, petting her dogs, bonging a beer, jumping in a pool, laying on my back panting, tying my shoes.

All the while, laughing, parcouring, complaining, learning, and sweating. 

Blah, blah, blah verb vomit, sorry. Don't even get me started on my time spent not running.

The past four weeks that I spent here were probably way too much fun and made it even harder to leave. (hopefully I get my shit together enough to write about them and can put a convenient link here).

On Sunday, I finished the painfully slow process of moving out my life. The careful twitter/instagram follower/chosen text receiver knows by now that I'm not currently in Chicago.

That ticket wasn't exactly my best $20 investment.

This, on the other hand, was.

Now, I be moving to LA.

 Liana's reaction is pretty on-point.

He did. And, after talking with my parents, friends, dental hygentist, neighbor, and everybody else who is alive, I realized it's what I really need to do. Probably of equal importance, it's what I really want to do.

I am currently in Lake Orion memorizing my AAA map and desperately piecing together a plan. It looks like I'm going to follow the same couch-surfing/exploring plan as Chicago. It'll just be ten degrees warmer and a lot closer to the ocean. 

The ticket is a bit more expensive, though, so let's hope this one sticks.

It isn't even fun anymore to list how unprepared I am because it's too easy. But I'll tell you this: I haven't been on a plane since age 7 when we flew to DC for a mathletes' competition. I wasn't even a mathlete. I was a helper. 

Regardless, on Wednesday, June 20th I will hop off the plane at LAX with my dreams and no cardigan because it is summer and f'ing hot.

I'm going to take a shuttle up to Panorama City and stay with a friend from high school for a little while. I'm hoping I can piece together a place to stay for the two weeks after that (things will work out because they have to). 

I'm going to spend my time there looking for jobs, finding roommates, a place to live, scoping out the improv scene and experimenting with the hardest of drugs. 

After three weeks, I fly back for my brother's wedding. The day after he gets married, my dad and I will drive all of my belongings west 2,000 miles. At least the blog posts will be enjoyable.

This doesn't really fit, therefore it's perfect:  

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the porpoise. " -George Carlin

****COMMENT CONTEST OMG******

Nobody leaves comments, so I'm changing that. Whoever posts the best EL running memory that I've forgotten will get a postcard from me professing how much I love and appreciate you. You don't even have to write a full story. Just a sentence is all I ask.
Deadline is one week from today, people.

How The Scary Man changed my life in 8 minutes

Since I'm young and ignorant, I decided to e-mail the guy who wrote Wanted.

Michael Brandt is a really nice, down-to-earth guy who co-wrote and also directed The Double.  It was filmed in Detroit in 2010 and I worked as a PA in the production office. There's no way he remembers me. But I have the crew list and clearly no boundaries.

His show, Chicago Fire, was recently picked up by NBC. Perfect, right?!

He e-mailed me back the next day (nice, down-to-earth guy) and cc'd the e-mail address of the show's producer. I was beyond excited. I imdb'd the producer to check him out. I saw that he produced 190 episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. I took a deep breath and decided I should probably update my resume.
While sitting on the futon with Klare,

Klare.

my phone rang.

 I jumped up and banged every part of my Allie in the process of getting over to it.

The scariest voice I've ever heard said, "Is this Allie?"
I said "uh-huh" because I was scared and am not articulate.
"This is the producer for Chicago Fire".

His IMDB didn't have a pic but this I think this is him.

(Intro shaky voice Allie)
We talked for about a minute about MSU's program and then he said:

"Why the fuck are you moving to Chicago?"(expletive included) (sorry Mom)

I  quickly responded by opening and closing my mouth six times while lightly breathing into the phone.
This man did not beat around the bush. He said that if I really want to "make it" I need to go to LA. I brought up the homeless point and he didn't buy it. After enduring 8 solid minutes of verbal abuse from this powerful stranger I hung up, a little confused, excited, scared, nervous, hopeful and probably hungry.

I'm not sure what I'll do yet. He made some really good points. I'm going home for a night tomorrow and we'll see what Lisa thinks. If anyone can outweigh Scary Man it's Scary Mom. We'll see.

But hey, look at this:"Efforts and courage are not enough without porpoise and direction."-John F. Kennedy

I Quit.

For some unknown reason I recently agreed to put my four year (approx $43,000) education to use by life-guarding at an inner-city beach.

(Note: I didn't take this picture. I don't know these people. I hope they don't see this.)

Don't let the serene picture fool you, devout reader. This place is fifty-one shades of gray.

For context, to keep busy today I played a game called "See how long it takes to spot a tattoo". The longest it took was Two Miss-iss-ipp.
As a challenge, I upped it to "See how long it takes to spot a tattoo of someone's face". Three Miss-iss.

Need more? I asked a toddler where his parents were. "His mom's not here and his dad's in prison 'cause he's a bad boy."
Oh.
By some stroke of genius, I put in my notice and am, at long last, free to move to Chicago and pursue my dream of "making it" in the film industry. I have nearly no understanding or familiarity with the city, am unemployed and don't quite have a place to live. But I'm blogging about it so it's guaranteed to work, right?

I'm applying like crazy the next two weeks and packing up my life in EL. After a pit-stop in Lake Orion in mid-June, I'll head to Chi-town (see I know a nickname at least) where I hope to couch surf for two weeks. The goal?  Officially become a Chicagoian (not completely sure if that's a thing) by July 1st.

If you've made it this far.
1. You are somewhat interested in my life: I'd like to Thank You. I often have mediocre follow-through when it comes to anything requiring follow-through, but I hope I don't let you down.
2. You are a very thorough possible employer who found this on my resume: I actually have great follow-through. And my only weakness is I care too much.
3. You are a detective and I am missing: Hopefully this gives you some sort of trail regarding my whereabouts. Knowing me, it probably isn't helpful. Good Luck.

Feel free to enjoy this musical interlude to make the next part even cheesier.

No matter what brought you here, I'm glad you stayed. Keep reading if you want. Hopefully it will get interesting. I'm about to embark on the most exciting weeks of my life and am thrilled to share it.

Here's a quote, just for you.
"To forget one's porpoise is the commonest form of stupidity. " -Friedrich Nietzsche